They Tried To Make Me Go To Rehab But I Said No

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At our substance abuse treatment center, we receive many calls from house members who want their loved ones to go to drug rehab or alcohol rehab. It's not unusual for them to say something like this: "I've heard that it won't do any good unless the addict or alcoholic wants to go. Is that true?" They ask this, hoping against hope that it isn't true.

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I like to tell people that, holding in mind that every person is different, there are many cases where people who did not want to go to treatment for their addictions nonetheless succeeded in long-term recovery. It's not so much if they want to go to treatment or even if they want to stop using their drug of choice; the more foremost ask is this: Will they go to treatment? Once they're in treatment, the most foremost ask becomes Will they stay?

There are a whole of reasons why it is so difficult for those in active addiction to think clearly enough about their addiction to make the foremost decision to enter drug resumption or alcohol treatment. Many people go to rehab not because they want to stop using, but because they are trying to save their marriages, their relationships with their parents or children, their jobs, or because they want to avoid going to jail. These are all common, and yes, valid, reasons for entering a drug and alcohol treatment center.

It is very difficult for person in active addiction to make a decision to go to rehab without the preserve and encouragement of loved ones, or maybe even the ultimatum of a judge or an employer. The American community of Addiction treatment (Asam) describes some of the reasons for this in its definition of addiction. Here are some excerpts:

"People with addiction often manifest a lower readiness to turn their dysfunctional behaviors despite mounting concerns expressed by valuable others in their lives."

Asam goes on to list some symptoms, including the following:

"An apparent lack of ability and/or readiness to take consistent ameliorative performance despite recognition of problems" and "The inaccurate confidence that problems experienced in one's life are attributable to other causes rather than...addiction."

Asam concludes its definition with a message offering hope to the addict and to house members, stating that recovery is ready even to those who cannot dream that treatment will work for them.

After detox and even a short period of abstinence from the use of alcohol or other drugs, addicts and alcoholics find that their minds begin to clear. Nearby them they find caring, non-judgmental professionals who can help them find their way to recovery. More importantly, they recognize that they are not alone-they find others in treatment who are in the same boat. They perceive that, just like themselves, none of these men and women wanted to end up as an alcoholic or addict who needed to be in a treatment program. Regardless, here they are, realizing together that their lives can get better in recovery. Here they are, discovering that even a glimmer of hope can break through the black clouds of addiction. This is where recovery begins.

Does it happen this way for everyone? Unfortunately, it doesn't. As substance abuse professionals, we find that many people, even those who don't want to come to treatment, even those who show up angry and upset and dragging their feet--yes, even those who come only because they've been pressured by a wife, a boyfriend, a parent, a boss, or a judge-all of them have the opening to find a better life in recovery.

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