Do you know about - Is it honestly That complicated Or Simple? Relationships and the Movies
Rehab After Work! Again, for I know. Ready to share new things that are useful. You and your friends.My son Alex and I love going to the movies. Movies not only furnish tantalizing windows into our times, our lives and our past, but also can paint rich emotional landscapes, tragic portraits of human frailty and side-slapping humor that just won't quit.
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If our movies furnish a mirror of the psyche of our times, what does one say when the relationships at the town of some of the most spell-binding movies are an abused youthful girl with a brutal mom and father who has impregnated her with two children, a married man masquerading as a rich single art assembler who pursues and seduces a tantalizing 16 year old girl, a divorced combine who are drawn into an affair as the ex-husband grows uncontent with his 2nd marriage to a woman more than 20 years his junior, and a very talented, but very alcoholic traveling singer who falls in love with a single mom nearly 30 years his junior, but loses her young son in a drunken haze?
Add to the list a closeted gay male professor while the 1960's, whose grief upon the death of his partner must be kept hidden, even as he unravels emotionally, and a non-committal, always traveling businessman whose specialty is firing citizen methodically and seamlessly, whose heart strings are stirred by his seemingly similar female counterpart, who breaks his heart as her dual life, as a married woman with young children is uncovered.
If this is what today's relationships are like, is there any hope for commitment, continuity, emotional stability and whatever longer persisting than the estimate of months you can count on your hands?
Things seem both inordinately complicated and inordinately simple at the same time. Battle worn hearts yearn for love, but cannot deliver whatever trustable or sustainable. Young hearts, innocent and naive, are broken and possibly rendered battle worn, by those named in the sentence above.
Lives on the road allow space for hidden liaisons and dual identities or short-term affairs you can drive or fly away from. Incomplete emotional break-ups from the past leave persisting trails of tears and unavailable futures. And somehow, all the players, young and old, male and female, are mostly oblivious to the impact of relational complexities and baggage on any children who through no fault of their own, find themselves in the middle of a parent or parents' confused wanderings along the relational path.
I was both sad and aghast as I watched the three young adult children of the Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin characters in "It's Complicated," huddle under the covers together as their inner children freaked out at the idea of their mom and dad having a post-divorce affair behind their backs. At least Maggie Gyllenhaal's character in "Crazy Heart," draws a line with Jeff Bridges' character after he loses her young son while expensed with watching him.
It need not be so complicated or simple. But what it would take for things to be dissimilar in all of these movie scenarios would be emotionally mature and grounded adults, who let their skeletons out of the closet, and identify the need to work through the relational baggage before meeting or tantalizing with "whoever is next."
The Jeff Bridges character does hit lowest after finding what his alcoholism has done not only to the Maggie Gyllenhaal character's love, but also his whole life. He does whole rehab, and admittedly chooses to convert his longstanding but unsustainable ways. It is too late for his association with the Maggie Gyllenhaal character, but not too late for his association with himself.
The Meryl Streep character wakes up, or perhaps, grows up a little, by the movie's end, realizing that she and the Alec Baldwin character had never completed things, but there was a infer their marriage ended when it did. She recognizes the value of the more emotionally stable, yet still vulnerable Steve Martin character, who has been trying to take time to heal from his new divorce. Small inklings of emotional maturity shine throw in some of his dialogues, and his actions.
Do we make movies ripe with characters in complicated or tragic relationships because these characters portray an exact photo of too many of our lives? Do we take relax when we see other citizen struggling with life's and love's complexities, realizing it admittedly Is hard and we are not alone? Do these kinds of characters live more tantalizing lives than those of us who are fortunate enough to have seemingly simpler lives? Or do these images report our struggle to find connection, with ourselves and others, to preserve love over time and to deal with life's heartbreaks?
I would admittedly enjoy a movie where the relationships between all the characters were mature, healthy, sustainable and real. But, might this be too unreal for the mass markets? Or too deep? Or too heady? Or too hearty?
The movies offer a fine tool for creating cultural imagery. And if healthy, sustainable relationships are truly a goal many of us aspire too, possibly this medium could furnish a beneficial sampling of what they might look like and how they might operate.
We'll see what comes out next Christmas vacation!
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